I knew my argument had been lame when I made it, but I was too tired to think of anything else. Besides, lying is what had landed me here in the first place, so making up a new fabrication probably wasn’t my best course of action.

“What if there’s an element of truth to that story?” I asked.

“What, so now you’re telling me that you actually are a cop?”

I shook my head. “No. But I actually am an independent consultant for the Major Case Squad in Saint Louis.”

“Really?”

“Sometimes.”

“Define sometimes.”

“It largely depends on the case and who happens to be running it.”

“So, which is it right now? Sometimes yes, or sometimes no?”

I didn’t answer.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought.”

Once again my mouth overrode my brain. “Look, Detective Fairbanks, you’re right. I impersonated a police officer. But it’s not like I did it to assault anyone, or to get free donuts or something.”

“Free donuts. That’s funny.” He wasn’t laughing.

I shook my head again. “Sorry. I haven’t had much sleep in the past few days.”

“Welcome to the club.”

“Okay, so, other than annoying you, what kind of mess have I managed to get myself into?”

“That would be up to the judge,” he told me. “Impersonating a law enforcement officer and violating a sealed homicide crime scene could get you five. Maybe a little more if we throw the donut comment in on top of it.”

I let my head hang for a moment as I felt my shoulders fall. “I suppose I should call my attorney then.”

“That would probably be a good idea, unless you can give me a damn good reason why you shouldn’t be charged.”

I wasn’t sure if he was just stringing me along, or what. However, I looked upon his comment as an invitation to get myself out of this debacle. Not having a reasonable explanation that didn’t sound utterly insane, however, I took the only course of action I could think of and played a card I wasn’t even sure I was truly holding.