"How do I see to it that my movie is no longer too good for Hollywood?" the Master of Sinanju asked.

Remo gave up completely any hope of seeing the end of the I Love Lucy rerun he'd been watching. He shut off the television with the remote control before sinking down before his teacher.

"With most movies these days they come up with a few large effects sequences and then tailor a sort of story around them," Remo explained.

Chiun scribbled a few more notes. The feathered end of his quill danced merrily. He looked up from his parchment.

"Effects?" he asked.

"Explosions, helicopter chases, radioactive dinosaurs stomping around Midtown Manhattan. That sort of thing."

"But do not those things descend from the story?"

"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" Remo said. "But as far as I can tell, you'd be wrong. No. Effects first, story second. If the effects are big and loud enough, you can sometimes get away with no story at all. Like Armageddon."

"Amazing." Chiun shook his head. He scratched a few more lines on his parchment.

"Michelle Pfeiffer in a cat suit," Remo said suddenly.

"What?" the Master of Sinanju asked, looking up.

"Batman Returns," Remo explained. "The only thing it had going for it was Michelle Pfeiffer in a skintight cat suit."

"Pornography," Chiun insisted.

"Great box office," Remo replied. "At least until people found out that there was nothing else there."

"But were there not explosions?" Chiun asked, confused.

"Yeah, but the movie was dark and unpleasant. People like their violence to be uplifting."

"Uplifting," Chiun echoed, jotting down the word. "So in order for my screenplay to be successful, I need explosions, dinosaurs and half-naked white women?"