I sighed. “Well, hello to you, too,” I said. “And to answer ya question, I haven’t called ’cause I’ve been busy.”

“Humph. Doin’ what? Are you workin’?”

“Yeah, I’m workin’. And before ya start tryna get all up in what I do, save it. As long as I’m not askin’ you to dig in ya pockets, what I do to make my paper is none of ya concern. Now, who pissed in ya Cheerios today?”

“Ain’t nobody piss in nothin’ of mine. I haven’t heard from you in almost two months, and I shouldn’t have to be the one to call you.”

“Uh, and why not?” I asked, sittin’ on the edge of my king-sized poster bed. The fuckin’ nerve of her!

“Because I’m your mother, that’s why. You should be callin’ and checkin’ on me.”

I rolled my eyes. “Really? Well, thanks for that news bulletin. I woulda thought as a mother you would wanna pick up a phone to see how ya only child is doin’. You know how to reach me. Anyway, now that ya got me, what’s been happenin’? Anything new goin’ on in ya life?”

“Nope,” she said, a bit too quick if ya ask me. “You know I don’t mess with too many people. Ever since I got my money these phony bitches ’round here always smilin’ and whatnot and tryna be up in my face. I’m like, ‘bitch, please, I ain’t got no time for it.’”

“Hmm. I hear ya. How’s Grandma?”

“You’d know that if ya ass picked up a phone and called her sometimes.”

I sucked my teeth. I really wasn’t in the mood for her shit. Beeeep! The call waitin’ tone signaled in my ear. Good. “Listen, I gotta go. I have another call comin’ in. I’ll be over next Saturday or Sunday.”

“That’s what ya ass said two months ago, and I still haven’t seen you.”

Beeeep!

“Alright,” I said, gettin’ agitated. “I’ll see ya on Sunday. ’Bye.”

“Well—”

I pressed the TALK button, disconnectin’ her ass. “Hello?”