“And when did you start?”

“Forgive me, Father, you want one or not?”

He did, tore the filter off. I lit him up and he ate lungfuls, said,

“Shite.”

“Nice language for a priest.”

“I hate those things.”

“So stop.”

“Not cigarettes…funerals, especially this crowd.”

“All God’s children surely.”

He slung the cig, said,

“Tinkers are nobody’s children.”

He was gone before I could respond.

Needless to say, I was first at the hotel. As a better man than me put it,

“Fair fuck to them for letting the tinkers in.”

Recently the tinkers had hit back after years of discrimination, successfully suing pubs that denied access. The publicans had to regroup. As someone who’s been barred from most establishments, my heart does not bleed. I stepped up to the counter. The barman looked like Robbie Williams. I could only hope his manner was different. He said,

“Good afternoon, sir. Are you with the funeral party?”

“I am.”

“The bar is free until two thirty. What can I get you?”

“A pint and a Jameson chaser.”

“Would sir like to take a seat? I’ll bring it over.”

I nibbled at the peanuts. Of all things, I was thinking of two authors. Tommy Kennedy had introduced me to them. Walter Macken, as fine then as now, and Paul Smith. Time was, on my shelf were Esther’s Altar, The Stubborn Season and my sad favourite, Summer Sang in Me. Not too long ago, I’d found his The Countrywoman in a Lambeth library. Published in 1961, for me, it beats hands down either Strumpet City or Angela’s Ashes. Through Paul Smith, I discovered Edna St Vincent Millay, a mega bonus. The barman bought the drinks, said,

“Good health.”

“Whatever.”

The pint was as near perfect as I’d experienced. Got to agree with Flann O’Brien, “A pint of plain is your only man.” Washed over the cocaine like a rosary. As a young guard, I went to see Eamonn Morrissey in The Brother and I was supposed to see Jack McGowran in Waiting for Godot. Got pissed instead. What a mistake. Took a hit of the Jameson and was as close to heaven as it gets. The travellers began to trickle in. Sweeper came over, said,