“I don’t have money for my own place.”

“That is not my problem,” Paqu says-obviously practiced from the DVD.

But they both know that it is.

Paqu’s problem, that is.

She’ll forget about it, O thinks, cognizant of Paqu’s Bipolar Approach To Parenting.

Paqu has wide swings between

Absent Neglectful Mother and

Smothering Controlling Mother

So, like, Paqu will take off on — a European vacation

Rehab

Spiritual Retreat or just

Another Affair

And totally forget about O.

Then she’ll come back, feel guilty, and go in the

Complete Other Direction

Micromanaging O’s life down to the tiniest details of clothing, friends, education (or lack thereof), career (see “education”), and protein-carbohydrate balance, and was literally up her ass during a truly unfortunate “colonic” phase.

It’s Either/Or

There is no middle ground, and it has been

Ever thus.

The worst is when Paqu comes back from rehab or a spiritual retreat. Having fixed herself, she sets out to fix O.

“I’m not broken,” O argued one time.

“Oh, darling,” Paqu answered, “we’re all broken.”

Indeed, O thought, Paqu does spend a lot of time in the body shop. Anyhoo, after a long discussion about O’s denial regarding her “brokenness” it was decided that self-realization was a river that simply couldn’t be pushed and that O would have to remain in the eddy of her own delusion. Which was just fine with O, although she was pretty sure that Delusional Eddy was a guy Paqu briefly dated.

But now this thirty-day thing.

O heads for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To join the Peace Corps,” O answers.

Or go see Chon.

Which is the

Exact opposite.