And I’ve also found that within three months, whatever drama a man has in his life will eventually find its way into yours if you’re not on point. That’s why it’s always best to fuck ’em and dump ’em within ninety days. Come to think of it. I’m really starting to believe that there really are some things money can’t buy. And, baaaaaaby, let me tell you. Hassle-free dick is one of them!

Anyway, back to my three current charms. All three of ’em have been in my bed, oops, I mean my life, for almost three months. But, like with everything else in life, eventually all good things must come to an end. Sadly, nothing stays the same. And neither does the dick. Hitting this pussy comes with an expiration date.

Okay, before I forget, I’m gonna let you in on something else. There are a few things I’ve learned along my sexual journey, and they are: 1) A stiff dick has no conscience. It’ll fuck anything moving if it can get away with it; 2) Most men lie about the size of their dicks (which is why I carry a ruler); 3) A big dick doesn’t guarantee a good fuck, and a small dick doesn’t guarantee a bad one; 4) An itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie, short, short dick can’t hit it doggie-style; 5) A man with good dick isn’t necessarily a good man; 6) You can’t judge the size of a man’s dick by his shoe size, hand size, or by the size of his nose. Those physical features don’t mean shit; and 7) Old dick is no different from young dick. It may look different, but with the lights out, it’s still dick. It’s the man attached to the dick that’s different.

I’ve also learned that most men lie about themselves, and about what it is they really want from you. They’ll say whatever they think you want to hear to get whatever it is they want from you. Because a man calls you all the time doesn’t mean he can be trusted. Because he comes through to fuck you all the time doesn’t mean he’s your man, or that he wants to love you. And it definitely doesn’t mean he wants to get to know you better. It usually means he’s only interested in you wetting his dick. So don’t get caught up in trying to make it out to be more than what it is, a fuck.