I pushed damp sweaty hair off my forehead and tried to tuck it inside my short ponytail. I had cut my hair a few years ago and stuck to the shoulder length hairdo. My mother had been appalled when I sent her pictures and had bemoaned the loss of my waist-length black hair.

“You go to America and you want to look like those Christian girls. Why, what is wrong with our way? Doesn’t a girl look nice with long, oiled hair with flowers in it? Even when you were here, you didn’t want the nice mallipulu, fresh jasmine, I would string. Always wanted to look like those… Short hair and nonsense,” she complained on the phone before thrusting it in my father’s hands.

I would have preferred to wear a pair of shorts to ward off the tremendous heat but Ma instantly rebelled at the idea. “Wearing shorts in Monda Market? Are you trying to be an exhibitionist? We don’t do that here.”

Since I had arrived three days ago I had heard that many times. “We don’t do that here.” As if I didn’t know what we did or did not do. I was “we.”

My mother picked up a mango and asked the mango seller to cut a slice. She handed the slice to me. “Here, taste,” she instructed, and I looked, horrified, at the slimy piece of raw fruit thrust under my nose.

Was she out of her mind? Did she expect me to eat that?

“Here,” she prodded again, and shoved it closer to my mouth and the strong smell of mango and its juices sank in. And memories associated with that distinct smell trickled in like a slow stream flowing over gently weathered stone.

I remembered stealing mangoes from the neighbor’s tree and biting into them with the relish of a theft well done. I remembered sneaking into the kitchen at night to eat the mangoes Ma was saving for something or other. I remembered sitting with Nate and eating raw mangoes with salt and chili powder, our lips burning and our tongues smacking because of the tartness. Now, I couldn’t imagine putting that piece of white and green fruit inside my mouth. It was not about taste, it was about hygiene, and suddenly everything everybody had warned me about India came true.