Anger returned. She glared at him. “You must have been so delighted that I conveniently fell in with your plans. Imagine how difficult things would have been if I hadn’t fallen for you.”

“Mia, no. I never meant to hurt you or use you. I wanted to tell you the truth.”

“I know, but you were just so busy. There wasn’t any time.” She took a step back. “I suppose the moment you were pushing me onto the helicopter wasn’t convenient enough? Or what about afterward, when I was falling apart? I thought I loved you. I thought you were special, and you walked away and let me think you were dead for five years?”

“I wanted to come after you,” he said. “I needed to tell you the truth. You must believe me.”

“Not a chance. How hard would I have been to find?”

He set his coffee on the fence post. “Your government was not exactly forthcoming. You were an operative and they insisted on protecting your identity. In desperation, I went through diplomatic channels. I used every power of my office to find you. At last I received word from a source I trusted that you had been killed only a few weeks after you had left Calandria.”

“Bullshit.”

He reached for her again, but this time she stayed back.

“I’m not lying,” he said. “I was devastated. I could not imagine a world without your laughter.” He shook his head, then looked away. “I know what I felt and I will not explain myself further.”

If he’d tried to convince her, she wouldn’t have believed him, but the arrogant tilt of his head, the lack of concern for her feelings, sort of made her wonder if he was telling the truth.

Rafael was right-the United States government didn’t give out personal information on intelligence personnel to foreign governments. Even intelligence personnel who quit after their first job.