Field gear provided.It was interesting to see, back then, how progressively certain she became that this was the future. Other jobs she'd had, good ones, jobs she liked, never took hold so powerfully, the way this mere prospect took hold. The event gathered force. I began to understand it wasn't just a reaction to our separating and I didn't know how to take this. It's almost comic, the number of ways in which people can find themselves diminished.Against my lassitude she operated at peak levels. Sold things, gave things away, stored things in people's garages. It had struck her with the pure light of a major saint's vision. She would sift dirt on an island in the Aegean.She started learning Greek. She ordered tapes, bought dictionaries, found a teacher. She went through a couple of dozen books on archaeology. Her study and planning were carried on in a fusion of anticipation and controlled rage. The latter had its source in my own living person. Every day made her more certain of my various failings. I compiled a mental list, which I often recited aloud to her, asking how accurate it was in reflecting her grievances. This was my chief weapon of the period. She hated the feeling that someone knew her mind.1. Self-satisfied.2.Uncommitted.3.Willing to settle.4.Willing to sit and stare, conserving yourself for some end-of-life event, like God's face or the squaring of the circle.$. You like to advertise yourself as refreshingly sane and healthy in a world of driven neurotics. You make a major production of being undriven.6.You pretend.7.You pretend not to understand other people 's motives.8.You pretend to be even-tempered. You feel it gives you a moral and intellectual advantage. You are always looking for an advantage.9. You don V see anything beyond your own modest contentment. We all live on the ocean swell of your well-being. Everything else is trivial and distracting, or monumental and distracting, and only an unsporting wife or child would lodge a protest against your teensy-weensy happiness.10.