She let my now limp tool slide out of her before covering me with kisses and we fell exhausted into a deep sleep. Luckily Sally was not on duty until two o'clock the next day for we did not wake up until half past eight in the morning. In order to keep our assignment secret from the hotel management, we shared the large breakfast that I ordered to be sent up to my room and Sally hid in the bathroom when it was brought in.

Although she asked for nothing (except the use of my cock!), I insisted on leaving her a present of ten guineas in gratitude for making my stay in Liverpool so pleasant, which after first demurring to take, she accepted, thanking me heartily for my generosity.

Now, Sir, my old friend Sir Robert Dixon has chided me for leaving 'such a trifling sum' whilst Mr. Peter Stockman of Sevenoaks insists I was wrong to even offer any money at all! I would be most interested to read your comments upon this matter.

I am, Sir, Your Obedient Servant

Colonel Leon

Standlake Goldstone

House Cramley

Near Stafford

March, 1885

The Editor replies: The general consensus in our office is that your behaviour was beyond reproach. It is easy for Mr. Stockman to criticise for it is well known that certain ladies pay him large amounts of cash for their weekly fuckings. But then, is there a man in Britain who can equal the length and girth of Mr. Stockman's extraordinary organ? He occasionally is guilty of forgetting his good fortune.

From Miss Anna Curkin-Nayland

Sir,

Like the poet I too best enjoy the 'season of mists and mellow fruitfulness' and I trust your readers will find to their liking this completely true tale of autumnal lechery in which I must confess my involvement. Well now, perhaps 'confess' is the wrong word to use for I am not in the least ashamed at what took place. In the words of Mr. Sheridan, 'certainly nothing is unnatural that is not physically impossible' and I would be happy to submit to your judgement of my admittedly lewd behaviour.