‘I wouldn’t trust either of them with your crockery,’ came a voice, and Kelly looked up to see Jake lounging in the doorway, grinning. ‘Clear off, both of you.’

‘I can give my own orders, thank you,’ Kelly said, ruffled.

‘Go on, then, tell them to go.’

‘When I’m ready.’

The movement of Jake’s head was barely perceptible, but Carl and Frank saw it and it was enough to make them shuffle their feet and cough.

‘Hey, hold on,’ Kelly cried as they edged to the door. ‘Ignore him. He’s had no rights since ten-thirty this morning.’

‘You don’t need them; you’ve got me,’ Jake said.

‘Thanks, but no thanks.’

‘’Bye, fellers,’ Jake said remorselessly.

Speechless with indignation, Kelly watched as her two admirers picked up their jackets and departed, for all the world as though Jake were the master of the house. At the door Carl turned to blow her a kiss and shrug helplessly, as if to say, What could you do?

Then she was alone with Jake.

‘You’ve got a nerve,’ she seethed. ‘Ordering people out of my home. Just who do you think you are?’

‘A few days ago I’d have known how to answer that, but when I arrive on our wedding anniversary and find my wife putting out the flags because the anniversary’s cancelled-’

‘Don’t talk as though the divorce came as a surprise to you.’

‘Let’s say it came as a surprise that you went through with it.’

‘Oh, I see. You didn’t think I had the guts.’

‘I didn’t think you had the stupidity,’ he yelled. ‘Or the pig-headedness, or the short-sightedness. Where would you like me to stop?’

‘Right there. You’re talking nonsense. Our divorce was inevitable from the moment you slept with Olympia Statton.’

Goaded, Jake roared to heaven. ‘How many times does it have to be said? I did not sleep with Olympia.’

‘Oh, sure, you just did a little detour via her hotel room in Paris, at three in the morning, and left an hour later.’