She had never gone with him to his various postings-Africa, China, India-to godforsaken towns whose names she could hardly remember, and so he'd bought her a map and hung it in the sitting room, where she could see it every day, with a pin in each place he'd stayed. It had brought him nearer. One year he had nearly died of malaria and couldn't come home on leave. That was the awful winter when Timmy died, and she had been there alone to do what had to be done. She had expected to lose Peter as well, sure that God was angry with her. But Peter had survived, and the loneliness had been worse than before, because there was no one in the cottage to talk to except for Jake.

He'd sent her small gifts from time to time: a sandalwood fan from Hong Kong, silk shawls from Benares, and cashmere ones from Kashmir. A lovely woolen one from New Zealand, soft and warm as a Welsh blanket. Lacey pillow slips from Goa, a painted bowl from Madeira, its flowers rampant in the loveliest colors. Thoughtful gifts, including that small but perfect ruby, set in a gold ring he'd brought back from Burma.

She had asked, on his next leave after Timmy's death, to go with him to his next posting, but he had held her close and told her that white women didn't survive in the African heat, and he'd resign his commission before he'd lose her. She had loved him for that, though she would have taken her chances, if he'd asked.

She had kept back a new dress to wear for his homecoming, and each day now she must wash her hair in good soap, rinsing it in hard-to-come-by lemon juice she had also saved for the occasion. She could see too that she needed a little rouge, only a very little so he wouldn't notice the new lines, thinking instead how well she looked.

She'd reread all his letters until they were as worn as her hands, and knew by heart every one of them. They lay in a rosewood box by her favorite chair, where she could touch them and feel his presence.