schwa: The faint vowel sound in many unstressed syllables in the English language. It is signified by the pronunciation "uh" and represented by the symbol ə.  For example, the e in overlook, the a in forgettable, and the o in run-of-the-mill.

It is the most common vowel sound in the English language.

I don't really remember when I first met the Schwa, he was just kind of always there, like the killer potholes on Avenue U or the Afghans barking out the windows above Crawley's restaurant—a whole truck load of 'em, if you be­lieved the rumors. Old Man Crawley, by the way, was a certifiable loony tune. A shut-in, like Brooklyn's own Howard Hughes, almost as legendary as the lobsters served up in his restaurant below. See, there was this staircase that went up from the restaurant to the residence on the second floor, but with each step it got darker around you, so when you tried to climb it, you kept thinking you heard the horror audience be­hind you yelling, "No, don't go up the stairs!" Because who but a moron would go up to search for Old Man Crawley, who had fingernails like Ginsu knives that could dice, slice, and julienne you, then serve you up in like fourteen thousand plastic dog bowls. Those bowls, by the way, would probably be made by my father, the Vice-Executive Vice-Vice-President of Product

Development for Pisher Plastic Products. If you're a guy, I'm sure you already know that their most famous product is that little plastic strainer at the bottom af urinals, and you probably still laugh every time you look down while taking a leak and see PISHER written in happy bold letters, like maybe it was to remind you why you were standing there.