The Schwa was about six inches away, too, in science class, but I had never noticed him. It was weird, because in school I notice almost anything as long as it doesn't actually have to do with the lesson. And then there was the way Ira got all freaked out about him. It made me want to do some investigating. It took a couple of days, but I did come up with something.

I called Ira and Howie over for a war council, which I guess is the guy version of gossiping. Of course we couldn't talk in the living room, because Frankie was sleeping on the sofa, hog­ging the most comfortable place in the house, like always. Lately it's like Frankie slept all the time.

"It comes with being sixteen," Mom said. "You teenagers, you go into a cocoon when you turn fifteen and don't come out for years."

"So they become butterflies when they finally come out?" my little sister Christina asked.

"No," Mom said. "They're still caterpillars, only now they're big fat caterpillars that smell."

Christina laughed and Frankie rolled over on the sofa, stick­ing his butt out toward us.

"So when do we get to be butterflies?" I asked.

"You don't," Mom answered. "You go off to college, or wher­ever, and then I get to be a butterfly."

She was looking at me when she said "wherever," so I said, "Maybe I'll just stay here all my life. With a butterfly net."

"Yeah," said Mom. "Then you can use it to drag me off to the nuthouse."

When it comes to Frankie, Mom always talks about college like it's a given, but not me. I looked at Frankie snoring away. Sometimes I think God made an inventory error and gave Frankie some brain cells that were supposed to go to me. He could sleep away the afternoon and still pull straight A's, but me? There were only two A's I ever saw on my papers: the A in Anthony, and the A in Bonano. What made it worse was that Christina already seemed to be following in Frankie's footsteps, gradewise, so it cleared the path for me to be the family disap­pointment.