“Why, in the name of everything that’s holy, would I go anywhere with you?”

“Because, my dear boy, you are a lonely twenty-seven-year-old bachelor with a worthless education, a boring no-hope job, a stalled love life, and very few prospects for the improvement of your sad lot.”

“How dare you! You don’t know anything about me.”

“But I know everything about you, old chap.” The old man took another step closer. “I thought we had already established that.”

“Yeah? What else?”

The elder gentleman sighed. “I know that you are an overworked drone in a soul-destroying cube farm where you have been passed over for promotion two times in the last nine months. The last time you don’t know about because they didn’t even bother telling you.”

“I don’t believe this.”

“You spend too much time alone, too much time watching television, and too little time cultivating the inner man. You live in a squalid little flat in what is referred to as a no-go zone from which your friends, of whom you see less and less, have all fled for the suburbs long ago with wives and sprogs in tow. You are exceedingly unlucky in love, having invested years in a romantic relationship which, as you know only too well, is neither romantic nor much of a relationship. In short, you have all the social prospects of a garden gnome.”

Kit had to admit that except for the low crack about his love life, the old geezer was remarkably close to the mark.

“Is that enough?”

“Who are you?”

“I’m the man who has come to rescue you from a life of quiet desperation and regret.” He smiled again. “Come, my boy. Let’s sit down over a cup of coffee and discuss the matter like gentlemen. I’ve gone to a very great deal of trouble to find you. At the very least, you could spare me a few minutes out of your busy life.”

Kit hesitated.

“Cup of coffee-thirty minutes. What could it hurt?”