So just go to hell, you insulting bareass you. Sometimes, of course, it was fun to look at bare bottoms: they gave you all sorts of ideas, your heart pounded, and you didn't notice the time flying by. Yes, other times it was fun, but times like this it wasn't. Why was that?

Well, it's because the bareass was set against you, to put you in your place-you're lower than low, and don't go getting any ideas. If someone laughs at you, it's like he's showing his power over you, and you, boy, are down in the ditch.

That's something to think on. But if it's so simple, why is it that the Lesser Murzas, who are there to watch us, never laugh? Why do they stare at you like you've been dished out of the out- house with a ladle? They talk through their teeth like they've got something valuable in their mouths, like it might fall out, and you're gonna grab it and take off. And the look in their eyes: they make them go all muddy like they're not moving. But they still cut straight through you. And then… but no, no, that must be Freethinking. No, no, I mustn't think. No.

… So then the pesky old man puts up all these posts, God forgive him, and Benedikt gets stuck with a nickname for his whole life: Lumpy. Other Golubchiks get nicknames: Rotmouth, or Gooseshake, or something else, depending on what he has coming, what stubborn habit or especially nasty Consequence he has. Benedikt didn't have any Consequences, his face was clear, he had ruddy cheeks, a strong torso, you could marry him off any time you liked. His fingers-he counted and he had just the right number, no more no less, no webbing or scales on them or on his toes. His nails were pink. He had one nose. Two eyes. An awful lot of teeth, almost three dozen. White. A golden beard, darker hair on his head, and curly. On his stomach too. On his nipples too. His belly button was where it should be, right smack in the middle. His private business also in the middle, lower down. Nice-looking. Just like a forest marshroom. Only without spots. You could take it out and show it off anytime.