She loved him with all her heart.

She closed her eyes, overwhelmed with panic. How could she leave him, knowing she was carrying his child? How could she leave him at all?

He wouldn’t let her leave if he knew she was pregnant. She knew that about him. He might hold himself apart; he might admit he needed no one; but her lovely Ben was an honourable man. He’d suffered a desperately lonely childhood himself, and to have a child grow up without a father… He wouldn’t do it.

But neither could he love a child, she thought bleakly. He didn’t know what loving was. They’d been together now for almost all their medical training, and for all that time her loving had been a one-way deal.

Oh, she couldn’t complain. Ben had been honest with her from the start. ‘Lily, I love you as much as I’ll ever love a woman, but I don’t want a permanent relationship.’ He’d spelt it out repeatedly, making sure she’d understood. ‘This time together is great, but as soon as we finish medical school I need to go and see the world.’

But now…

Ben would feel the same about abortion as she did, she thought, but anything else… She’d seen the flare of panic whenever she’d come close to admitting she needed him, and a child would make no difference. Or maybe it would make him decide to marry her, she thought bleakly, and that would be worse than loneliness. He’d be trapped by his own sense of decency.

The clock ticked on. She should be packing.

Ben didn’t need her, she told herself. He didn’t need anyone. And back home in Kapua, her fellow islanders truly did. She continued staring into the mirror, thinking of the girl she’d been ten minutes ago and the woman she’d suddenly become.