
October 23, 1971
"I have come to the conclusion that my subjective account of my own motivation
is largely mythical on almost all occasions. I don't know why I do things."
"The wilderness masters the colonist."
Tuesday, March 9, 1971: Asmission
1
They came down to the emergency ward at noon and sat on the bench just behind the swinging doors that led in from the ambulance parking slot. Ellis was nervous, preoccupied, distant. Morris was relaxed, eating a candy bar and crumpling the wrapper into the pocket of his white jacket.
From where they sat, they could look at the sunlight outside, falling across the big sign that said EMERGENCY WARD and the smaller sign that said NO PARKING AMBULANCES ONLY. In the distance they heard sirens.
"Is that him?" Morris asked.
Ellis checked his watch. "I doubt it. It's too early." They sat on the bench and listened to the sirens come closer. Ellis removed his glasses and wiped them with his tie. One of the emergency ward nurses, a girl Morris did not know by name, came over and said brightly, "Is this the welcoming committee?"
Ellis squinted at her. Morris said, "We'll be taking him straight through. Do you have his chart down here?"
The nurse said, "Yes, I think so, Doctor," and walked off looking irritated.
Ellis sighed. He replaced his glasses and frowned at the nurse.
Morris said, "She didn't mean anything."
"I suppose the whole damned hospital knows," Ellis said.
"It's a pretty big secret to keep."
The sirens were very close now; through the windows they saw an ambulance back into the slot. Two orderlies opened the door and pulled out the stretcher. A frail elderly woman lay on the stretcher, gasping for breath, making wet gurgling sounds. Severe pulmonary edema, Morris thought as he watched her taken into one of the treatment rooms.
