"Nor would his enemies. They'd kill him!"

"He has no enemies left, or none worth considering."

"Not true! Pompey's son is said to be in Spain right now, rallying a force to take on Caesar."

My son Meto was in Spain, serving in Caesar's forces, so my ears pricked up at this.

"If that's true," came the response, "Caesar will squash young Pompey like an insect! Just wait and see…"

"… and Caesar may even name a new month after himself-the month of Julius! There's to be a complete revision of the calendar, done with the help of astronomers from Alexandria."

"Well, it's about time-no pun intended!"

"… and the whole thing will go on for four straight days, I heard."

"Not four days in a row, you silly man! Four triumphs, yes, but each with a day between. We'll need those days of rest, to recover from so much drinking and feasting."

"Imagine it! Four full-scale processions, plus public banquets for everyone in Rome, followed by plays and chariot races and gladiator games-I don't see how Caesar can afford to put on such a spectacle."

"He can't afford not to. After all we've put up with, the people of Rome deserve a celebration! Besides, he has all the money in the world-literally. His conquests have made him the richest man in history. Why shouldn't he lavish some of the booty on us?"

"I'm not sure it's right, celebrating with triumphs to mark the end of a civil war. So much Roman blood was spilled."

"It's not just about the civil war. Have you forgotten his victory over Vercingetorix and the Gauls? The triumph for that is long overdue. And another triumph will be for putting down the revolt of Pharnaces in Asia, and that's certainly well deserved."

"Granted, as may be the triumph for defeating King Ptolemy in Egypt, although that wasn't exactly a Roman conquest, was it? More like settling a family feud. The king's sister Cleopatra kept her throne."

"Because she conquered Caesar!"