Assistance Sought in Search for Missing Man

General Public is hereby informed that the man in the picture namely Balram Halwai alias MUNNA son of Vikram Halwai rickshaw-puller is wanted for questioning. Age: Between 25 and 35. Complexion: Blackish. Face: Oval. Height: Five feet four inches estimated. Build: Thin, small.

Well, that's not exactly right anymore, sir. The "blackish face" bit is still true-although I'm of half a mind to try one of those skin-whitener creams they've launched these days so Indian men can look white as Westerners-but the rest, alas, is completely useless. Life in Bangalore is good-rich food, beer, nightclubs, so what can I say! "Thin" and "small"-ha! I am in better shape these days! "Fat" and "potbellied" would be more accurate now.

But let us go on, we don't have all night. I'd better explain this bit right now.

Balram Halwai alias MUNNA…

See, my first day in school, the teacher made all the boys line up and come to his desk so he could put our names down in his register. When I told him what my name was, he gaped at me:

"Munna? That's not a real name."

He was right: it just means "boy."

"That's all I've got, sir," I said.

It was true. I'd never been given a name.

"Didn't your mother name you?"

"She's very ill, sir. She lies in bed and spews blood. She's got no time to name me."

"And your father?"

"He's a rickshaw-puller, sir. He's got no time to name me."

"Don't you have a granny? Aunts? Uncles?"

"They've got no time either."

The teacher turned aside and spat-a jet of red paan splashed the ground of the classroom. He licked his lips.