`I was privileged to belong to the Shamlegger Street Rude Boys, sir,' said the butler.

`Really?' said Vimes, genuinely impressed. `They were pretty tough nuts, as I recall.'

`Thank you, sir,' said Willikins smoothly. `I pride myself I used to give somewhat more than I got if we needed to discuss the vexed area of turf issues with the young men from Rope Street. Stevedore's hooks were their weapon of choice, as I recall.'

`And yours ... ?'said Vimes, agog.

`A cap-brim sewn with sharpened pennies, sir. An ever-present help in times of trouble.'

'Ye gods, man! You could put someone's eye out with something like that.'

`With care, sir, yes,' said Willikins, meticulously folding a towel.

And here you stand now, in your pinstripe trousers and butlering coat, shiny as schmaltz and fat as butter, Vimes thought, while he tidied up under the ears. And I'm a Duke. How the world turns.

`And have you ever heard someone say "Let's have a disturbance"?' he said.

`Never, sir,' said Willikins, picking up the paper again.

`Me neither. It only happens in newspapers: Vimes glanced at the bandage on his arm. It had been quite disturbing, even so.

`Did it mention I took personal charge?' he said.

`No, sir. But it does say here that rival factions in the street outside were kept apart by the valiant efforts of the Watch, sir.'

`They actually used the word "valiant"?' said Vimes.

`Indeed they did, sir.'

`Well, good,' Vimes conceded grumpily. `Do they record that two officers had to be taken to the Free Hospital, one of them quite badly hurt?'

`Unaccountably not, sir,' said the butler.

`Huh. Typical. Oh, well ... carry on.'

Willikins coughed a butlery cough. `You might wish to lower the razor for the next one, sir. I got into trouble with her ladyship about last week's little nick.'