big attic dormitory. Still, he looked for them because at some level he knewthey would be together, and for some perverse reason he always had to push andpush until he forced people to tell him outright that they didn't want himaround. The school counselor had told him this about himself, but hadn't toldhim how to stop doing it. In fact, Paulie was half-convinced that the counselorhad only told him that as an oblique way of letting him know that he, too,didn't want Paulie around anymore.

There wasn't a sound coming from the pool, though the lights were on there, soPaulie didn't bother going in. He just walked the path around the chainlinkfence that kept woodland animals from coming to drown in the chlorinated water.It wasn't till Celie giggled that Paulie realized they were in there after all,not swimming but sitting on the edge at the shallow end, their feet in thewater, resting on the steps going into the water. Paulie stood and watched them,knowing that he was invisible to them, knowing he would be invisible even if hewere standing right in front of them, even if he were walking on the damnedwater.

Then he realized that Celie was only wearing the bottom part of her two-pieceswimming suit. Paulie's first thought was, How stupid, she's only eleven, she'sgot nothing to show anyway. Then he saw that Deckie had his hand inside thebottom of her swimsuit and he was kissing her shoulder or sucking on it orsomething, and that's why Celie was laughing and saying, "Stop it, thattickles," and then Paulie understood that Deckie liked it that she didn't haveany breasts yet and he knew just what Deckie was and in that moment relief sweptover Paulie like a great cleansing wave because he knew now that despiteDeckie's beautiful tan and beautiful body and charmed life, Deckie was the sickone and Paulie didn't want to be like him after all.

Only then did it occur to him that even though Celie was laughing, what Deckie