His father looked up.  Five billion channels and nothing on,  he said in a kind of horrified astonishment.

 The story of modern life,  Kit said, resigned, and headed to the kitchen to gethimself a plate.  Just be-cause a species is more scientifically advanced than us doesn t mean its TV is any better, believe me.

His father absorbed this assessment with a thoughtful look.  Maybe that should make me feel better. I ll let you know. What did Tom have to say 

 It s complicated,  Kit said.  A missingpersons case.

 And areyou likely to go missing   his pop said.

 Not right away,  Kit said.  I have to do some detective work here first.

 Oh, my god,  Kit s mama said,  what are theydoing

Anything that could so seriously gross out Kit s mama, the nurse, was worth a look. Kit grabbed a plate and ducked back into the living room, looked at the writhing, thrashing, stridently colored image for a moment, then took the remote away from his mama and punched it for subtitles.  Oh, that s what I thought,  he said, after spending about ten seconds reading them.  It sa soap .

 Not of any brand I recognize,  his mother said. She looked scandalized.

 It s real basic, Mama,  Kit said.  Boy meets girl meets thing meets other thing. Boy loses girl loses other thing finds thing. Boy loses thing gets girl loses thing. Happily ever after   He tossed the remote back to his mother.

She fielded it badly as she studied the screen for any signs of boys or girls, and looked like she was having trouble finding any, though there were plenty of  things.    Basic,  you said