dust, ashes, nothingness.
"And so, just for one instant, I captured the
supreme happiness, the highest and most refined
emotion to which human beings can attain. And in the
same moment it was finished, and I was left-to what?
All my savagery, my passion, were scattered like the
petals of a rose. I was left cold and languid, full. of
vain regrets; in my revulsion I even felt a kind of pity
for the weeping girl on the floor. Is it not nauseous,
that we should be the prey of such mean emotions? I
did not look at the girl again; my sole thought was to
get away. I hastened up the steps of the vault and out
into the street. It was dark and bitterly cold, the
streets were empty, the stones echoed under my heels
with a hollow, lonely ring. All my money was gone, I
had not even the price of a taxi fare. I walked back
alone to my cold, solitary room.
"But there,
messieurs et dames, that is what I promised
to expound to you. That is Love. That was the happiest
day of my life."
He was a curious specimen, Charlie. I describe
him, just to show what diverse characters could be
found flourishing in the Coq d'Or quarter.
III
I
L I V E D in the Coq d'Or quarter for about a year
and a half. One day, in summer, I found that I had just
four hundred and fifty francs left, and beyond this
nothing but thirty-six francs a week, which I earned by giving
English lessons.