I exchanged a glance with Nathaniel. His wide eyes let me know that it was news to him, too.

Jesus, Jason, Im sorry, I said.

We hate each other, of course, and now the cold bastards dying and I wont have time to forgive him before he dies.

What can we do? Nathaniel asked, softly.

He smiled, a little weak, a little watered down, but he managed it. I thought it was a good sign. I hoped it was. You really want to know?

Name it, I said.

He smiled again, but his eyes flinched, as if Id hit him instead of told him Id do anything he wanted if it would take the pain away.

Perdy isnt here to tell me dont, or to tell you dont. Im a free man again. He tried for a laugh, but it was a sound more like a sob.

I get it, Nathaniel said.

I frowned at him. Then explain it to me, because I dont.

He wants to have sex with you again.

What? I said.

Perdy cant tell him, or you, no anymore. You can be lovers again.

You mean now, like in right now?

Nathaniel gave a half-shrug. Jason moved his head off the other mans shoulder. He dropped his hand away from my leg.

Its okay, Anita, Ive fucked this up. I know this isnt the way to approach you. But my head is so ugly tonight; I just cant seem to think clearly.

He pushed to his feet and started for the doorway.

I opened my mouth to say dont go, and yes. I closed it without saying any of it out loud, and looked at Nathaniel. I frowned at him. He was more than just my sweetie. The ardeur made me a sort of living vampire who fed off sex, but with the downsides came some interesting upsides. Nathaniel was my animal to call, which meant he was like my familiar. We shared emotions, power, and sometimes thoughts. Youre projecting inside my head, arent you?

You can shut me out if you want, he said.

Jason hesitated just short of the doorway. He frowned at us both. Im missing something.