“Think about it,” I said. “You wouldn’t normally bring a strange, unexpected parcel into our home and leave it lying round without running it through a whole series of security checks first, would you?”

“No,” said Suzie, in a way that made it clear she hadn’t even considered the point before and was wondering rather angrily why she hadn’t. “It felt ... right. Like it belonged here. Why the hell didn’t I find that suspicious?”

“Because the parcel didn’t want you to,” I said.

We both glared at the brown-paper package.

“Could it have some kind of compulsion, or geas, attached to it?” said Suzie.

“I think we’re in bigger trouble than that,” I said. “I’m getting a distinct feeling of destiny.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yes, quite,” I said. “Next question: how did our mysterious benefactor pass unscathed through all our security systems? The land mines and the floating curses? We spent ages setting up the defences round this house, to protect us from our enemies and discourage the paparazzi. Our regular postie has a special dispensation; this guy shouldn’t even have made it to the front door.”

“Oh, this has destiny written all over it,” said Suzie. “Let’s run.”

“You didn’t see anyone when you picked up the parcel?”

“Not as such, no. And yes, I should have found that suspicious. Bloody parcel must have been messing with my head.”

“The parcel, or whoever sent it ...” I was scowling so fiercely my forehead was aching. “Beware of unseen strangers bearing gifts.”

I raised my gift, opening up my inner eye, my third eye, my private eye. I studied the parcel with my Sight, which shows me all the wonders and horrors of the hidden world, and scanned the parcel for booby-traps or hidden messages. I barely had time to assure myself there were no hidden extras when I cried out despite myself and fell back, as what was inside the parcel blazed up fiercely, a magical, spiritual light that dazzled and blinded me. My inner eye slammed shut as my mind flinched away from something it couldn’t bear to look at directly.