But she hadn’t. And now Jennifer was glad. She’d never found it easy – virtually impossible in fact – to talk about personal, intimate things even to people close to her; even to Gerald. The thought of exposing herself to a stranger, mentally stripping herself naked, had stopped her then and now it made her physically shudder just to think about it as she came to the turn off to the kindergarten.

Jennifer had to wait because of the traffic congestion on the London road, smiling at another thought. She guessed a psychiatrist would judge how she chose to lead a lot of her life now as that of someone seeking atonement. She had immersed herself in charities and contributed substantially to every appeal and fund-raising approach made to her. The charity thought reminded her that for the rest of the month – maybe longer – she probably wouldn’t be able to collect Emily so regularly. Virtually everything was set up for the AIDS ball at Grosvenor House but Jennifer gave minute attention to every detail of anything she did or organized, seeking confirmation of confirmation, a habit she’d developed as the leading trader in Gerald’s company before their marriage. Now she didn’t trade any more – another lingering although very secret regret – she’d transferred her never-lose determination to another activity, to the benefit of people not as fortunate as herself. And there was still one item, the most important, not absolutely guaranteed. A lot of the intended success of the ball depended upon final confirmation of the Royal promise to attend. She’d give it another day or two before approaching the palace again.