His mother anticipated him. "It's what he always called himself. He was always Jeez to me and to everyone."

To himself almost, but aloud, he read: "Dear Hilda, This comes a bit out of the blue I'm afraid, and I have to hope that it doesn't upset you. God knows that once I did enough to upset you and I've no right to repeat the dose. I suppose that it's because of my present situation, because I am sentenced to hang, that I thought it would be good to tie down some of the loose strings of my life, that's why I'm writing. About going out of your life, well, I'm not saying anything about that. What happened is gone. No excuses, no whining, it just happened… "

"And, Christ, did it happen," Sam snapped. "Walked out on a fine lady and a two year-old child."

Jack ignored him.

"… A lot of years later I came back to the U.K. and I found out that you were well and married, that Jack was well, that you had a new baby. I didn't see the need to drag up the past. You were in good shape. I was OK. I reckoned you were best left alone… "

"And why couldn't he leave her alone now?" Sam couldn't let go of it. "Suddenly, twenty-four years after he's dumped your mother, it's a sob story."

"… So, I'm in a bit of a mess now, things aren't looking too good. As I used to say, you win some but most you lose.

If you read in the papers that I'm going for the early walk then please just think of me that morning, and remember the better times. As I will. If nothing comes up at the last minute, this has to be goodbye to you and the lad. I watched him at sports once over the fence. I thought he was OK.

Things aren't always what they seem. When I'm gone, ask the old man. He'll tell you. Yours affectionately, Jeez… "

"Got all that's bloody coming to him."

Jack put the letter back into the envelope. He was very pale. His hand trembled as he gave it to his mother.

"Why should he have written to you, Mum?"