This Christmas I'm going to Las Vegas to see my mother, both sisters, and brother-in-law.
Christmas in Vegas. I can't quite picture it. Do you figure the casinos put up Christmas lights? How would you know?
But wait, the Spirit is showing me a vision. There I am, hobbling through the casino in... in the... it's the Bellagio, I see it now.
High roller city! I pull up a stool at the new Yuletide Progressive slots. I drop in my 5 silver dollars— Ka-CHUNK
Ka-CHUNK
Ka-CHUNK
Ka-CHUNK
Ka-CHUNK
I pull the handle.... rickety-tickety-rickety-tickety- rickety-tickety-rickety-tickety-rickety- tickety-rickety-tickety— CLUNK! Santa Claus!
CLUNK! Santa Claus!!!
CLUNK! Santa Claus!!!!! I win, I win! I'm rich!
...No, wait. Tell me, Spirit! Is this the shadow of something that WILL be, or is it the shadow of a thing that MAY be only?
The Spirit just shrugs, and trudges off to torment another Bah Humbugger.
Oh, well. Meeeeeeeerrrry Christmas everybody! By golly, NOW I know how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possesses the knowledge!
And as Tiny Tim observed, God bless us, every one!