“Sure you wouldn’t,” Annie mutters, throwing the ball so hard it practically blisters my hand.

“I wouldn’t,” Piper insists. “Can you imagine kissing Moose? It would be like kissing a… a… bagpipe.”

“A bagpipe?” I say. “Thanks a lot.”

“Hey Moose, did you know Piper’s got cons working in her house?” Annie asks.

“Right, Annie.” I roll my eyes.

“Actually, I do.” Piper smiles brightly like her daddy just bought her a new puppy. “Buddy Boy is a confidence man-you know, a con artist-he’s our houseboy, and Willy One Arm is a thief. He’s our cook.”

I stretch up to catch Annie’s fly ball, stop it with my glove, then turn and face Piper full on. “What are you, crazy?”

“Her mom needs extra help. She’s in a family way,” Annie explains.

“Did you have to bring that up?” Piper snaps.

“It’s not a secret. One look at her and you can see. Besides, your father has been telling everybody in the universe.”

“You don’t know the half of it so just shut up okay, Annie?” Piper growls.

“Wait… Piper’s mom needs extra help from a thief?” I ask.

“He’s not going to steal anything.” Piper snorts. “Being a passman is the best convict job on the whole island. Why would he risk losing a job like that?”

I shake my head. “Why would you break the law and get yourself locked up for life? You think these guys are logical?”

Piper puffs up her chest. “Cons won’t mess with the warden. They wouldn’t dare.”

“So what then… your mom’s going to hand her baby over to a one-armed felon? Hands up.” I pretend to aim a pistol. “I have a loaded diaper right here.”

Piper laughs. I like the sound of her laugh. I can’t help it, I do.

“Rock-a-bye baby, in the cell house up top,” I sing. “When the wind blows the cradle will rock. When the cons make a break, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, handcuffs and all.”

I pretend to carry a tray with one hand, the other arm tucked behind my back. “Where’s Willy One Arm’s other arm? Think about that after he serves you your supper.”