‘So what do you do for the Emperor?’ The Librarian would not let it go.

‘The public is correct. I poke a long stick into noxious blockages.’

‘That takes skill?’

‘Just a strong shoulder and knowing when to hold your nose.’

‘Marcus is being modest.’ Helena was my best supporter. I winked at her wickedly, implying that if we had been couched alongside, I would have given her a squeeze. Against convention - but convention never bothers me. She was wearing dark red, a colour that gave her a luscious glow, with a gold necklace I had bought for her after a particularly profitable mission. ‘He is a first-class investigator with exceptional skills. He works quickly, discreetly and with unfailing humanity’ And he’s all hands, said her dark eyes back to me across the half-circle of couches.

I sent over more private eye-messages to Helena. Theon had spotted something going on, but had not worked out that it was lechery. ‘The noble Helena Justina is not just my wife, but my accountant, business manager and publicist. If Helena decides you need an enquiry agent - good references and cheap rates - then she will prise a commission out of you, Theon!’

Helena then shot us all a beaming smile. ’Oh not this month, darling! We are in Egypt on holiday!’

‘All-seeing Argos never sleeps!’ Now it was Aulus pompously giving the game away. I was surrounded by idiots. No one had any discretion; well, except Cassius, who was so worn out by his exertions all day he had nodded off with his chin on his forearm. Protruding from a wide-sleeved robe of some African design, the forearm was extremely hairy.