“Lana!” she bellowed. “Lana, Charley needs a shower.”

Knowing Charley, I reckoned what he really needed was dry-cleaning. I personally couldn’t go out with a man who was covered in grease all the time. I was only going to date professionals.

“For God’s sake!” I screamed back. “How am I supposed to get ready when you keep interrupting me?”

I threw the towel at the rack and staggered back to my room. I didn’t have much experience with six-inch heels.

I was just choosing my perfume when she started screaming again.

“For the love of God, Lana! Do you think there’s any chance we’ll get out of the house tonight?”

“I’m coming… I’m coming…” I screamed back. “Just give me a minute, will you?”

I sprayed some Tommy Girl on my pulse points, put on my lace jacket, and studied myself in the mirror. I was knockout. Really knockout. I looked at least twenty. A twenty-year-old model, that’s what I looked like.

I gave my reflection a sexy smile.

“Kate Winslet, eat your heart out,” I whispered. “Eat your heart out, and choke.”

My mother and Charley were in the kitchen, having a glass of wine while they waited for me. As per usual, they didn’t offer me any. Not even on my birthday. My best friend Shanee’s mother let her have a drink on special occasions, but the strongest thing Hilary Spiggs would let me have was Diet Coke.

I walked slowly down the hall, trying not to sway too much.

“Here I am,” I called as I reached the door. I tossed my hair and smiled shyly. Like Cher in Moonstruck when she’s had her make-over and she sees Nicolas Cage waiting for her, wondering if he’ll notice the difference. “All ready to go!”

In Moonstruck, Nicolas Cage is gobsmacked by the sight of Cher all dressed up with her hair in curls.

In my kitchen, my mum and Charley were pretty gobsmacked by the sight of me.

Charley was nearest the door.