Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date

1. You're wearing that?

2. Something smells funny.

3. Where's the Tylenol?

4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother.

5. I have a confession to make…

6. My dad has a suit just like that.

7. That man is hot. Look at him.

8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever…

9. You're going to order that? Seriously?

10. You're how old?

To Kassia Krozser-for your generosity. Okay, and your smart-ass mouth

To my brothers-Shane Tolbert, Michael Showalter, Matthew Showalter (aka the pimp), Josh Slovak and the delectable Kyle Hurt

To my good friend Mr. Johnson-for being hard on me when I needed it most

To Max Showalter Jr.-the sexiest man ever to walk the face of the earth (comment offered freely without any hint of bribery)

A big thank-you to Tom Rerstien for sharing his time and wisdom Thanks also to Margo Lipschultz for her keen editorial eye

I would like to thank Susan Grimshaw and Kathy Baker for their continued support

Another thank-you to Aviation Research for answering all my questions

A true Tigress knows how to strut her stuff. She walks with her head held high, her breasts pushed forward and wears an expression that says, "I'll eat you alive."

I'm a doormat.

There. I admitted it. If people want to wipe their muddy boots on the rug that is my life, I'm likely to welcome them with a smile and thank them afterward. Knowing this, some people might lose all respect for me. In my defense, let me just say I'm getting better. Stronger. More assertive.