TABITHA CAMPBELL-BLACK

A ravishing tearaway. Rupert’s daughter, also by his first wife.

CANDY

A comely rank-and-file RSO viola player.

LINDY CARDEW

The mettlesome wife of Rutminster’s planning officer.

MARK CARLING

Beleaguered managing director of the RSO.

HAN CHAI

A very young Korean contestant in the Appleton Piano Competition.

TONY CHARLTON

The indefatigable and perennially cheerful stage manager of the RSO. Known as ‘Charlton Handsome’.

MISS CHATTERTON

Marcus Campbell-Black’s piano teacher, known as ‘Chatterbox’.

LADY CHISLEDON

A lusty old trout and member of the RSO board.

CHRISSIE

An obsequious Northern Television minion.

CLARE

Another very pretty RSO rank-and-file viola player, also the orchestra Sloane.

CLARISSA

Principal Cello, RSO.

CLIVE

Rannaldini’s sinister black-leather-clad henchman.

THE BISHOP OF COTCHESTER

Another silly old fossil.

CRYSTELLE

A bullying beautician from Parker and Parker’s department store.

OLD CYRIL

Fourth Horn, RSO. Heavy drinker. Onetime great player.

HOWARD DENSTON

Wideboy partner in Shepherd Denston, the toughest music agents in New York.

HOWIE DENSTON

Howard’s son, a mega-manipulator, who runs the London office.

NICHOLAS DIGBY

The harassed orchestra manager, or ‘fixer’ of the RSO, who has the unenviable task of getting the right number or players on and off the platform. Known as ‘Knickers’.

MRS DIGGORY

Heroic cleaner of the Celtic Mafia’s Bordello.