I gave an amused grunt. “Wow, a big wedding. We’ll have a hell of a time explaining the menu to a potential caterer. Choice of entree: beef or seafood for the humans, raw meat and body parts for the ghouls…and a keg of hot fresh blood at the bar for the vampires. God, I can just picture my mother’s face.”

Bones’s smile turned devilish and he leapt up. I watched him, curious, as he went to the other side of the room and dialed his cell phone.

“Justina.”

I vaulted after him as soon as I heard my mother’s name. Bones sprinted away from me, fighting back his laughter and continuing to speak.

“Yes, it’s Bones. Now really, that’s such a foul name to call me…um hmm, same to you, I’m sure…”

“Give me that phone,” I demanded.

He ignored me, darting out of my reach. Ever since my father, my mother hated vampires with a pathological passion. She’d even tried to have Bones killed before-twice-which was why he was taking such delight in giving her a little payback now.

“Actually, Justina, I didn’t just ring you to chat about what an undead murderer I was…right, degenerate whore as well. Did I ever tell you my mum was one? No? Oh, blimey, I come from a long line of whores, in fact…”

I sucked in a breath as Bones divulged yet another tidbit about his past to my mother, who must be frothing at the mouth by now.

“…called to give you the good news. I asked your daughter to marry me and she accepted. Congratulations, I will officially be your son-in-law. Now, do you want me to call you Mum straightaway, or wait until after the wedding?”

I flew through the air in a dive that finally tackled him, wrenching the phone away. Bones was laughing so hard, he had to breathe to get it all out.

“Mom? Are you there? Mom…?”

“You might want to give her a moment, Kitten. I believe she fainted.”