"Stupid child! Just because we've both got six legs and two sections, and just because we both live in highly organized societies comprising winged males, wingless females and winged queens, you presume ants and termites to be all but identical. You couldn't be more wrong, dear girl. Why, there's a thousand differences between us!"

"Please tell me one," asked Alice.

"Tell you one what?"

"A difference between a termite and an ant."

"Well, now… let me think… I'm sure there was something… it's in here somewhere…" The termite was tapping his head with one of his antennae as he pondered. "Of course! We termites are vegetarians, while the horrible ants are carnivores. In fact…" and here the termite looked around rather nervously as he whispered to Alice, "ants like to eat termites for breakfast. On toast! I suspect that the ants are jealous because they haven't been found on the Moon. Quite a mound of difference, I think you'll agree?"

Alice did agree, but she wasn't sure why. "What is your name, Mister Termite?" she asked.

But this latest (very polite) question only made the termite even angrier: his antennae fairly bristled with indignation. "And that ", he trumpeted, "brings me to your second mistake, for, if you had been paying attention to my previous statement, you would have recognized that I am completely wingless and therefore, logically, I am a female termite."

"Very well," said Alice, getting just a little exasperated herself now, "what is your name, Mrs Termite?"

"Mrs? Mrs? Do I look like a Mrs? Only the Queen is a Mrs! I told you already that the Queen has wings. What is the matter with you?"

"Oh!" cried Alice, "Miss Termite, you're just too… too… too logical for me!"

"Logical? Of course I'm logical. I'm a computermite."

"Whatever's a computermite?"

"Exactly what it sounds like, silly. I'm a termite that computes. I work out the answers to questions. Now, what is your question?"