Me? I couldn't believe it. I hadn't had anything to do with it! Carrie was the klutz, not me. I looked up at Mme Noelle and opened my mouth to defend myself. But when I saw the look she was giving me, I decided to forget it. She clearly had not forgotten the episode of the toe shoes, and I was better off just keeping quiet.

    So instead of sticking up for myself, I helped Carrie to her feet. Did she thank me? Three guesses.

    "Again, mademoiselles," said Madame, barely pausing for Carrie to catch her breath. "And one, two, three . . ." We went back into the routine. I was fighting to regain the concentration I had lost when Carrie knocked into me. We worked through the steps, counting carefully as we leaped and spun. It was beginning to feel good - but I knew we had a long way to go before it would look good.

    But then, once again, on the final arabesque, Carrie knocked into me - hard. This time she didn't quite fall, but our collision definitely drew Mme Noelle's attention. She frowned at me.

    "But I didn't - " I began, and then I just stopped. I sounded like a baby, back in the beginner's ballet class. That kind of excuse didn't belong here. If Carrie - and Mme Noelle - wanted to blame me for what was happening, there was no point in trying to turn that blame around. It would only make me look worse.

    This time, instead of speaking out, I put all my energy into the steps we were learning. I became more and more focused on what we were doing and just tried to steer clear of Carrie Steinfeld. It wasn't easy at first, but after awhile I forgot about everything except how it felt to dance.

    There were no other major catastrophes for the rest of the rehearsal. And when it ended, Mme Noelle nodded at me approvingly. I think she must have sensed how hard I was working.

    After rehearsal, I collapsed onto the bench in the dressing room as I pulled out my dance bag. I felt tired, but in a good way - and I felt satisfied with my dancing that day. I took my hair out of its pony tail and shook it out. Then I reached into my dance bag and I knew right away that something was wrong.