"... So the Oogly Oogly Beast slooooowly approached the campers. Drool dripped from his mouth and onto his white fur. Then, bursting into the campsite, he shouted — " Mallory paused. Ben froze in an attack position.

"What? What?" Vanessa demanded.

Mallory's eyes widened threateningly. Then she said, " 'Uh, excuse me, does anybody have a Wash'n Dri?' " The kids cracked up.

Mallory grinned at Ben. I could hear him laughing behind his mask.

The two of them were very cute. And all of a sudden I had another reminder of why I was feeling rotten.

Boylessness.

Mary Anne had Logan. Mallory had Ben. Kristy (sort of) had this boy named Bart. Sta-cey, my ex-best friend, had a boyfriend named Robert.

Claudia? Zilch.

Not that I'm boy-crazed. It's no great tragedy not to have a boyfriend.

But, hey, it's no great honor either.

I've tried. I even placed an ad in the personals column in the Stoneybrook Middle School newspaper. I was running the column at the time, but that didn't help. The only people who answered my appeal for the "Perfect Boy" were Alan Gray (the class geek) and Stacey McGill. (Yes, Stacey. She was feeling sorry for me.) Sometimes I wish I were still working on the newspaper. At least I'd be meeting people.

"Waaaaahhhhh!" Ben was crying now.

"Poor, poor Oogly," Mallory said. "All those teeth and nothing to brush with . . ." Poor, poor Claudia, I thought.

"No bathtub, no towel . . ." No boyfriend, no best friend, no activities . . .

"So sad and lonely . . ." So sad and lonely.

Puh-leeze. Get a grip, Kishi.

I stood up and left the room. I tried to look nonchalant about it.