“As a matter of fact, Brooke,” he said, “he did. Leo’s going to be starring in Ava’s next picture.”

It drives me insane that Trip calls movies “pictures” as if he’s Orson Welles or something. He’s not even her director. He’s just her agent. Isn’t there some sort of confidentiality thing he’s violating here? Note to self: write a note to the bar association to determine confidentiality implications of an agent being romantically involved with the actress he’s representing.

“Great,” Jack says, “Jolly good.”

I don’t think that Scots say things like “jolly good,” but I let it slide since Jack’s being so great by pretending to be a Scotsman on a weeknight. Anyway, the industry talk is probably the only saving grace for Jack this evening. Jack always wanted to be an actor but never really made a go of it. He’s like a lot of litigators-frustrated thespians who use their dramatic flair in the courtroom instead of on the stage.

“And Ava will be playing the lead,” Trip continues, as the waiter begins clearing out plates. I say a tiny prayer that Trip and Ava won’t want to order dessert and that Jack and I can get out of here. “DiCaprio will be the ex-boyfriend whose wedding Ava attends.”

Suddenly, time begins moving in slow motion.

“Excuse me?” I ask. Surely, I must have misheard Trip.

“Oh, did I forget to mention that?” Trip asks, a tiny smirk creeping onto his lips. “The picture is about a woman who goes to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding.”

This story is beginning to sound alarmingly familiar.

“Let me get this straight,” I say, “Ava’s next movie is about a girl who goes to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding?”

“Yeah,” Trip says with a laugh. “You inspired me to write it!”