At first I thought maybe it was just a movie show this guy was talking about, but he said, "No – real alive done-kee – fuck pretty young girl for you."

I cooled down a little when he told me it was going to cost me fifty Cuban pesos, which translates into exactly fifty U.S. dollars. That was the tab for a private performance – just for me, the girl and the donkey – but if I didn't mind sharing the spiritual experience, I could wait until night and there'd be a group showing for a crowd of tourists at ten dollars a head admission. Well shit, I couldn't pass that up. So I told him to put me down for a reservation, kissed off my date in Miami and checked into a hotel to wait out the time.

My friendly guide came to pick me up in a cab at seven-thirty and we drove down to the Chinatown section – the driver blasting his horn at every intersection the way they do. We pulled up at a seedy-looking old mansion on a dark street – it had a huge front door about ten feet tall with an ornate grill-work all over it – real old Spanish style.

There was the usual fat madam that let us in and we went across a shitty-smelling courtyard and into the front room of the place. There was a lot of Spanish chatter going on – about how much loot they were going to be able to squeeze out of me, no doubt. I'd already laid out five to the cab driver and ten to the guide, but there was still the beady-eyed Madame to take care of, and probably the girl and the donkey besides. Then there'd usually be a few extra associate whores and apprentice pimps coming around with their hands out before any action finally got under way. There was a lot of featherbedding in these Havana sex factories. Everybody wanted in on the loot, whether they'd contributed to your orgasm or not. They must've had a hell of a strong union going for them I guess.

I gave five to the Madame right away to get her off my back and turned a deaf ear to the swarm of young chicks that swooped down on me next, pressing their tits into me and grabbing at my pants the way they always did. The smart thing to do in a whorehouse is to let them grab at your cock all they want but keep your hand in your money pocket and protect that at all times.