I opened my eyes. It was the lady from number three, an eighty-pound blonde with a squeaky voice. Her false eyelashes were twinkling like crazy in the light.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“How should I know, for God’s sake? There’s this thing overflowing in the bathroom. You better come stop it right away! I’ll never understand how things like this happen…”

I sat up quickly. I was not amused. Look at this woman for three seconds and you can tell she’s nuts. I knew she was going to drive me crazy, too. Her bathrobe was sliding all over her dried-out shoulders. I got wasted just looking at her.

“I was about to eat,” I said. “Can’t this wait live minutes? Be nice and just…”

“Are you kidding? This is a disaster! There’s water all over the place! Hurry up, come with me…”

“Hold on. First tell me exactly what broke. What’s overflowing?”

She giggled in the sunlight, her hands shoved in her pockets.

“Well, you know… it’s the… the white thing that’s overflowing. For God’s sake there are little shreds of paper all over the place!”

I took a swallow of beer and shook my head.

“Look,” I said. “Don’t you understand? I was just sitting down to eat. Can’t you just close your eyes for fifteen minutes? Is that too much to ask?”

“Are you crazy or what? I’m not kidding, you better come right away!”

“Oh, all right. Take it easy,” I said.

I went into the house and turned the fire off under the beans.

They were just getting done. Then I grabbed my toolbox and started off after the madwoman.

I got back an hour later, soaked from head to foot and half-dead from hunger. I lit a match under the saucepan and jumped into the shower and stopped thinking about her. I felt the water run over my skull and the smell of beans slide under my nose.

Sunlight flooded the house. It was nice out. I knew that my problems were over for the day. I’d never seen a toilet clog up in the afternoon. Most of the time it was calm; half the bungalows were empty. I sat down to eat, smiling. My schedule was all fixed: eat, then navigate out onto the porch and wait there till evening. Wait until she came, her hips swaying, to sit on my lap.