"You think of me the way most people do, as a real bitchy princess, a pristine queen. I know that. But I have never known any other way to be. All my life I have been surrounded by `the best things', and expected to live up to them. To be worthy; to be better than other people, I guess." She looked at me, as if to gauge my reaction, but I was interested in what she had to say, and motioned for her to go on.

"Well," she continued, "most of my life has been pretty, um, controlled.

I told you about Stuart…"

"Yes. He was your first."

"My only until you, and that was pretty dissapointing. I let him fuck me, if you could call it that, because I was mad at my parents and was trying to rebel. They were threatening to put me in private school, and I was furious. Stuart was a kind of revenge, though I couldn't tell them about it, so it didn't help. When they changed their minds on their own, I felt really stupid. Stuart kept calling, wanting to `see me again,' which I knew meant he wanted to put his little prick in me again, but I was bored and disgusted by him, and it sort of faded away."

"He bragged about it, but we didn't believe him. He made it sound like a major event, though."

She laughed. "Yes, well, if 20 seconds of frenzy and two quick humps is major. I don't know if her even broke my cherry."

"He did."

"Oh, of course. You'd know, wouldn't you? Anyway, I found it all pretty unimpressive and I guess that sort of made me act even more superior. Maybe that was my way of regaining my self respect. I don't know. Whatever. Anyway, that was what I thought sex was, to be honest. Nothing to write home about."

"What about Randy?"

"Well, jocks like to talk a lot about all the girls they get, but if Randy is any indication, it is a bunch of bullshit. When we first parked together, he was so scared I thought his heart would leap out of his chest. When I told him that a handjob was as far as I would go, he made some faint protest, but I could tell he was relieved. After a few dates, we didn't even do that much. He just liked to suck my breasts a lot. Almost like he didn't get enough as a baby. He's also the one that got me started on coke, and I guess I got pretty hooked."