Oh my God, you are twenty-five years old. You have not even had a life yet.
Katydid:
Then why am I in such mental and emotional anguish?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Because you stayed up too late last night watching
Charmed
reruns. Don’t try to deny it, I heard you salivating over Cole.
Katydid:
Oh my God, I’m so sorry!!!!!!!! Did I keep you and Craig awake?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Please. Craig would sleep through a nuclear blast. And I only heard you because I got up to use the bathroom. These hormones make me have to go every five minutes.
Katydid:
I am so, so sorry. I swear I will be off your couch and out of your place just as soon as I get a line on a studio I can afford. Paula’s taking me to look at one tomorrow night in Hoboken. $1100/month, third-floor walk-up.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Would you stop? I told you, we like having you stay with us.
Katydid:
Jen, you and Craig are trying to have a BABY. You do not need an old college roommate sacking out on your living room couch while you are trying to procreate. You did enough just getting me this job in the first place.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
You more than earn your keep with all the cleaning you do. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. Craig even pointed out this morning that you had dusted the top of the refrigerator. Obsessive much, by the way? Who even looks at the top of the refrigerator?
Katydid:
Well, Craig, OBVIOUSLY.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Whatever. You can’t afford $1100/month on your salary. I know how much you make, remember?
Katydid: