Every other book on negative self–talk I have seen focuses primarily on the words that we say to ourselves, seldom on the tonality. Yet the tonality of a voice is often a major factor in how we respond to it. For instance, hear a voice that says, "I love you," in a harsh, sarcastic voice… . Then hear a voice saying, "You son–of–a–bitch" in a soft loving sexy tonality. Did you respond primarily to the words or the tonality? Sometimes when you change the tonality of a voice, you don't have to change the words at all.

Someone who experiences a lot of negative self–talk is often willing to do almost anything to quiet the voice, and avoid the bad feelings that the voice produces. Many people do this by seeking distractions of various kinds — taking risks, using drugs, overeating, etc. Many of these work temporarily, but many also have unpleasant long–term consequences.

Many who are tormented by their voices would gladly volunteer for a selective lobotomy in order to silence them. Although our internal voices are learned from other people in the real world, when we recall them they are inside us, so they are a part of us, a part of our own neurology. If we were successful in removing them, we would also remove all the positive things they can do for us, and we would become less whole, and less human. Eliminating a voice — even if it were possible, and even if it might make us feel better — is not a good solution.

Another quite popular and highly regarded approach is not quite as radical as silencing a voice. Many schools of psychotherapy, particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, advocate arguing with an internal voice in order to overcome it or subdue it. If you have ever tried to argue with someone else in the real world, you may have realized how ineffective that usually is. Typically the other person will respond by redoubling their effort to convince you, and the same is true of arguing with your internal voices. Arguing with an internal voice usually makes the voice even stronger, which is probably not what you wanted. Even if you manage to shout down a troublesome voice temporarily, you can never really overcome it, and it will return to torment you.