“Dirt?”

“The black roots.”

“Oh.”

“She’s interested in the guy at the bar there, one turned toward her, smiling. She’s interested in his tuber, which, from the looks of those pants, is about the size of a banana.”

“I didn’t think that sort of thing interested you.”

“It don’t, but I check out the competition.”

“Well, no offense, but you can’t compete with that if that’s what she wants. I mean, you know-”

“Hap, you can’t compete with that either.”

“How would you know?”

“Like I said, I check out the competition. I first saw you, I just passed my eye over you. You don’t worry me none.”

“Oh, thanks, beat up on the heterosexual. Besides, aren’t you with Miss Vogue?”

“Hey, what can I say. I got a rovin’ eye. I get older, I’m startin’ to realize I like my women a little trashy. I don’t even mind they smell a little.”

“On that note…”

I carried the drinks back to the table.

“I’m glad you took the money,” Leonard said, “because now I get to go on vacation, and I say we go on a real one.”

“What about me?” John asked.

“See you when I get back,” Leonard said, smiling, patting John’s hand again.

5

I actually went back to work at the chicken plant for a couple weeks, made arrangements for time off. I felt guilty about the whole thing, taking off a month with a hundred thousand dollars because I had saved someone’s life. I felt more mercenary than heroic. Leonard, who had done nothing, felt great. He wanted a vacation.

A week into my two-week notice of vacation, me, Leonard, and John made plans at my duplex while I cooked, and slightly burned, a pizza.

John’s suggestion: a cruise.

“A cruise?” Leonard said. “You mean, hang out with a bunch of rich old people who want to look at countries from a boat so they don’t have to deal with other cultures? Man, you know I saw somewhere one of those cruise lines is making their own island. You know, like Fantasy Island meets Love Boat. This way you don’t have to deal with those pesky locals. Don’t have to have a nigger rub up against you.”