Or until we realized we’d always be Ugly Screaming Stink-Girl, and it was time to stop pretending otherwise. Just pick a name at random and stick with it.

I picked the name Youn Suu. Simple, meaningless, easy to pronounce: like Yune Sue. But it was a label of convenience, nothing more. Like wearing a particular shirt, not because it was comfortable or good-looking, but because it didn’t have obvious rips or stains. I didn’t feel like a Youn Suu, but I didn’t feel like anyone else either. Just a barefoot girl, anonymous.

Part of me still fantasized I’d find a good name — a name that was me — but I tried not to think such thoughts. The Buddha taught that wishful fixations were "unskillful." Wise people lived life as it was, rather than frittering away their energies on pointless daydreams. My actions counted; my name didn’t.

So I became Youn Suu.

Until I left Anicca, people called me Ma Youn Suu… "Ma" being the polite form of address for an undistinguished young female. Women of high prestige and venerable old grannies warranted a better title: the honorific "Daw." But I was sure I’d never be Daw Youn Suu. I’d never win prestige, and I wouldn’t live long enough to become venerable. I’d die young and unimportant, because by the age of nineteen my full name had become Explorer Third Class Ma Youn Suu of the Technocracy’s Outward Fleet.

At least, that’s what it said on the ID chip burned into the base of my spine. In my heart, I was still Ugly Screaming Stink-Girl.

My ugliness had a story. My life had no room for other stories — no "How I Won a Trophy" or "My First Real Kiss" — because all my potential for stories came down to "Youn Suu Was Ugly, and Nothing Else Mattered."

Like all stories, the tale of my ugliness had long roots. Longer than I’d been alive. The Bamar are a tropical people, originally from Old Earth’s Southeast Asia. The British called our homeland "Burma," their version of our tribal name. Burma = the Bamar… even though the same region held hundreds of non-Bamar cultures who raged at being left out of that equation.