‘Not when I’m wrestling chavs, catching car thieves or attending a fatal accident,’ said Lesley. ‘I like you, I think you’re a good man, but it’s like you don’t see the world the way a copper needs to see the world — it’s like you’re seeing stuff that isn’t there.’

‘Like what?’

‘I don’t know,’ said Lesley. ‘I can’t see stuff that isn’t there.’

‘Seeing stuff that isn’t there can be a useful skill for a copper,’ I said.

Lesley snorted.

‘It’s true,’ I said. ‘Last night while you were distracted by your caffeine dependency I met an eyewitness who wasn’t there.’

‘Wasn’t there,’ said Lesley.

‘How can you have an eyewitness who wasn’t there, I hear you ask?’

‘I’m asking,’ said Lesley.

‘When your eyewitness is a ghost,’ I said.

Lesley stared at me for a moment. ‘I would have gone with the CCTV camera controller myself,’ she said.

‘What?’

‘Guy watching the murder on CCTV,’ said Lesley. ‘He’d be a witness who wasn’t there. But I like the ghost thing.’

‘I interviewed a ghost,’ I said.

‘Bollocks,’ said Lesley.

So I told her about Nicholas Wallpenny and the murdering gent who turned back, changed his clothes and then knocked poor– ‘What was the victim’s name again?’ I asked.

‘William Skirmish,’ said Lesley. ‘It was on the news.’

‘Knocked poor William Skirmish’s head clean off his shoulders.’

‘That wasn’t on the news,’ said Lesley.

‘The murder team will want to keep that back,’ I said. ‘For witness verification.’

‘The witness in question being a ghost?’ asked Lesley.

‘Yes.’

Lesley got to her feet, swayed a bit and then got her eyes focused again. ‘Do you think he’s still there?’ she asked.

The cold air was beginning to sober me up at last. ‘Who?’

‘Your ghost,’ she said, ‘Nicholas Nickleby. Do you think he might still be at the crime scene?’