Most of the messages were short. “Babe, it’s me, holla back,” “Babe, pick up the phone,” “Celess, where you at,” etc., etc., etc. But the last one was long and detailed.

“Celess, what’s up with you? I heard some wild stuff about you. You need to call me as soon as possible, because if what I found out is true you’re goin’ to have some serious problems.”

I called James back on his cell. He answered on the first ring.

“Yo, what’s up?” he whined.

“Hey, baby,” I said. “What’s up?”

“You didn’t get my message?”

“Yeah, what’s up, what hater told you somethin’?” I asked, trying to convince him that it was a lie before even knowing what the hell he was going to tell me.

“Yo, I’m at an NBA party, right, and these broads come over and try to holla at me and this other bull. So the one broad had a fuckin’ Adam’s apple and shit, right? So the bull I was with cursed the broads out. Then he started tellin’ me about these two joons from Philly who be playin’ dudes the same way. They dress and live like women, but they really men.”

I would have liked to have passed out. Fuck! I thought. I was already trying to work up a plan. But before I went jumping to conclusions, I waited for James to finish.

“Then dude said yall names, Tina and Ce-fuckin’less. Yo, say it ain’t so, Celess,” James pleaded.

“What?” I yelled. “A man? That is some insane shit, James. I can’t believe you’re bringing me this high drama!” I was trying to play it off. I didn’t know what else to do.

“But yo right, I started thinking,” James said, “and we never fucked in the light. And you always make me hit it from the back. What? I be puttin’ it in ya ass? And yo, you ain’t never ask me to eat you out or nothin’.”

“If I remember correctly, you told me you didn’t eat pussy!” I shot back at him.

“Yeah, but I tell every joon that and it don’t keep them from asking me to make an exception. Just tell me what the fuck is goin’ on, please.”