However, there is a God out there-vast and ancient and infinitely powerful-and I know the name of this God. I know the path you have to walk down to be one with this God. I know his secret rituals and the correct form of prayer and his portents and signs. I have studied the ancient writings of his prophets and followers in person, not simply relying on the classified digests in the CODICIL BLACK SKULL files and the background briefings for CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN.

I’m a believer. And like I said, I wish I was still an atheist. Believing I was born into a harsh, uncaring cosmos-in which my existence was a random roll of the dice and I was destined to die and rot and then be gone forever-was infinitely more comforting than the truth.

Because the truth is that my God is coming back.

When he arrives I’ll be waiting for him with a shotgun.

And I’m keeping the last shell for myself.

A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, ANGLETON SUGGESTED I START WRITING my memoirs. It seemed a pretty weird idea at the time-a thirty-year-old occult intelligence officer should take time off on the job to work on his autobiography?-but he had a point. “Bob,” he said, in his usual frighteningly avuncular tones, with a voice like dry sheets of parchment rubbing, “like it or not, that thick little skull of yours contains valuable institutional knowledge that has been acquired over years of service for H. M. Government. If you don’t start now, you may never catch up with the job. And if you don’t catch up with the job, part of the Laundry’s institutional memory might vanish for good.” He gave a curious little chuckle, as if he regretted having had to admit that there was any value to my meager contribution. “You might die on your next field assignment, or be turned by the enemy. And that’d be nearly ten years of work down the drain.”