‘And so you are now the unpaid Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography?’ he said to the figure who had been brought before him.

The wizard known as Rincewind nodded slowly, just in case an admission was going to get him into trouble.

‘Er… yes?’

‘Have you been to the Hub?’

‘Er… yes?’

‘Can you describe the terrain?’

‘Er…’

‘What did the scenery look like?’ Lord Vetinari added helpfully,

‘Er… blurred, sir. I was being chased by some people.’

‘Indeed? And why was this?’

Rincewind looked shocked. ‘Oh, I never stop to find out why people are chasing me, sir. I never look behind, either. That'd be rather silly, sir.’

Lord Vetinari pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Just tell me what you know about Cohen, please,’ he said wearily.

‘Him? He's just a hero who never died, sir. A leathery old man. Not very bright, really, but he's got so much cunning and guile you'd never know it.’

‘Are you a friend of his?’

‘Well, we've met a couple of times and he didn't kill me,’ said Rincewind. ‘That probably counts as a “yes”.’

‘And what about the old men who're with him?’

‘Oh, they're not old men… well, yes, they are old men… but, well… they're his Silver Horde, sir.’

‘Those are the Silver Horde? All of it?’

‘Yes, sir,’ said Rincewind.

‘But I thought the Silver Horde conquered the entire Agatean Empire!’

‘Yes, sir. That was them.’ Rincewind shook his head. ‘I know it's hard to believe, sir. But you haven't seen them fight. They're experienced. And the thing is… the big thing about Cohen is… he's contagious.’

‘You mean he's a plague carrier?’

‘It's like a mental illness, sir. Or magic. He's as crazy as a stoat, but… once they've been around him for a while, people start seeing the world the way he does. All big and simple. And they want to be part of it.’